bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
