I feel like abortions should bother me more
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
