The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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