apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
