Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
