Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
