You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can I color on your dick again?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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