high people should be assigned attendants
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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