She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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