My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize