So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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