I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
