just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
