Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
