One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
