Your mouth is God's brothel.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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