she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
