so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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