dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
