jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
