Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
