You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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