I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
