I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
