I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
