i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize