They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize