Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
