There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize