Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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