i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
