Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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