Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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