I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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