so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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