just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
