I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
vagina is talking i cant
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
