apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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