Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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