So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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