When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
