Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
