Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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