Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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