so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
