Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize