You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
