It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
