We won't sleep together?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
