I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
