For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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