It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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