I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if only i could text you this smell
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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