I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't deserve a penis
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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