So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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