Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
