Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
