so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
