What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
