I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
