Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
