So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How's work?
Spinning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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