You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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