better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
