Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
