She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Panties = found
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
