Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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