I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
