i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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