Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
me + whiskey = a bad person
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize