You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
