i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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